sry for recent inactivity and the removal of so many pages. if youve read any of my other posts here you can probably guess why lol. im not the type to delete stuff so dont worry (?) its not completely eradicated. i just dont like having old stuff i dont resonate with anymore plastered everywhere and fixing it is a waste of time. so to the archives it goes. well if you even know a little bit about websites theyre still accessible to you anyways. but yeah besides that i actually have a social life rn (shocking i know) and boring uni shit to do so uhh little to no art and updates mb gang

every passing moth i fall back into my old edgelord behavior more and more its a bit depressing. idk what made me become so cynical again i was just rereading some older posts of mine and i seemed so genuine. its like i really cant help but be an asshole. yk that one post thats like "cool irony bro now say something true and beautiful" thats me but im incabaple of saying anything positive at all or be nice to people or even respond to compliments. i even find myself going back and editing old posts cause my usage of emoticons grosses me out

its september now and im still kinda ballin. ill update my comprehensive fromsoft boss tierlist soon... but ill probably wait till i finished ds2. idk. anyways im playing a different game for once (darkest dungeon) ive been putting it off for over a year now. also i keep switching back and forth on wanting to play armored core6 but i probably wont. looks pretty cool tho i love mechs.
edit: i played ac6 and it was actually quite easy i liked it a lot

everyone shits on his fit but they dont understand...they never will..they hate us cause they anus

elden nui

maybe i should start putting dates on these posts to put them into context hmm. the last one was from around feburary 2023. its july now. i feel better i think im on summer break rn and replaying elden ring for the 5th or 6th (cant remember) time now, also ds1. got the bb platinum a few months ago too. i know i should be playing different games for once but ehhh ughhhh the horrors the horrors

i think i may be doomed to live in isolation forever lmao.

sorry for the inactivity... as you may be able to tell by my last posts im kinda art blocked and burned out rn. ive just been sleeping, voice chatting and playing bloodborne for the past week or so. hopefully i can get back on my grind soon

its lowkey only getting worse lol...el oh el.. my old writing is so obnoxious... but i cant rewrite it all. too much work also im not even sure how i would change it. hmmm. lets just say this website is a "beta version" of everything

if u read this, feel free to share your opinion with me:

im kind of sad because i feel like im outgrowing a lot of my OCs... the reason i dont draw some of them that much nowadays is because theyre not super appealing to me anymore. thats a pretty normal thing to happen it just sucks when i know other people really like them and they might be dissapointed if i change anything or scrap them.
honestly i think they are fine the way they are so redesigning isnt necesarry but like, im not my own target audience anymore? idk. i just dont care for the colorful cutesy stuff the way i used to. i feel the urge to design them all in the more monochromatic type A style i do a lot. but i feel like people would view that as a downgrate since theyre not as unique anymore then. so im a bit torn. do i want to keep the silly all over the place style or do something more coherent and appealing to me personally in risk of dissapointing people or losing their charm?
the main cast would stay the same ofc but characters like gardener, una, glare, capelle (but fuck that guy in the first place) or panko would be the first to get altered. (with panko probably more so his lore, i kinda like his design). also not sure what to do with viktor and milo. at the very least i wanna make them older

switched to firefox for now... well see how long i can take it. i know we all hate chrome bla bla i dont care that they steal my data or whatever i really dont. but for some reason my chrome has been acting up like crazy, youtube doesnt work at all same with tumblr and spotify. like the sites wont even load and everything is hella laggy. grahhh i miss chrome rahhhhh eughhhh euwaaa waaa ‚

i have found my people

guess who finally beat sekiro after like 3 months? ME lmao. the reason it took so long was because i had so little time to play (only like once a week) i still only have 40 play hours. i just beat isshin and gawdamn. i was really scared i wouldnt be able to do it cause i got stuck at owl father but i much prefer the isshin fight. at the beginning it felt impossible but after 2 hours or so i figured out a perfect way to deal with every attack. i forgot how satisfying that was cause the last time i actually had to learn a moveset was with genichiro. all the other bosses mostly took less than 10 attempts (except for owl father and demon of hatred, i havent killed those yet, might do later but honestly idc.) its just so satisfying when a boss that feels way too strong and hard to read becomes super easy. i had that with guardian ape as well.
uh anyways my general thought on the game is that its amazing and probably the best fromsoft game but i will forever be a darksouls fanboy at heart. my ranking based on quality would probably be something like sekiro>darksouls3,elden ring>bloodborne (its close after tho)>ds1>ds2>demons souls. take the last two with a grain of salt i havent played ds2 yet and will probably never play demons souls (only watched a playthrough for both and rely on my friends thoughts on them). but my PERSONAL favorite is a tie between ds3, eldenring and bloodborne. Because honestly i felt a little burned out at the end of sekiro wich kind of messed with my enjoyment of the lategame. that has nothing to do with the game itself tho. the combat is so Incredibly good. hard to learn for someone like me whose used to the mega bonk strength build but so satisfying and exciting once you get good at it. i truly hope fromsoft will do more games like this in the future. tbh im a bit scared that theyll stick too much to the formula from now on because elden ring was such a success. i mean i love ER obv but i really dont want another huge open world game, one is enough. i know people love sequels but if it gets two good DLCs im more than happy. if the next game could have sekiro esque combat, be a bit shorter but with more original content (no repeats or empty areas), with bloodborne art direction/ambiance/lore and interesting NPCs with more easily followable quests like elden ring i would ascend to a higher form of being.
you guys wouldnt be able to handle me.
getting back to sekiro tho, i barely have any criticisms. the only things that sorta bothered me were the boss repeats (Altho they didnt break the emersion as much as in ER). they arent too bad because there is a sensible lore explanation most of the times ore they are thematically important to the story (genichiro for example). but i did feel like they werent super justified since the game isnt that huge, i wouldve liked more memorable mini boss encounters like O Rin. another thing was that the spirit emblem mechanic couldve been a bit more thought out imo. because honestly they are just a modified mana bar wich allows you to do special attacks. wich is fine but i kept running out of emblems all the time and since they are limited use anyway i dont see why you couldnt just have made them refill at rest like normal mana. its not as big of an issue when fighting regular enemies since you regain them by killing them, it gets pretty annoying when youre in a bossfight and then have to go grind emblems cause you ran out. that totally throws you out the flow and made me underutilize the prosthetic since i was constantly scared of wasting emblems. similar thing with some items like the divine confetti. you need it to kill certain bosses but its so rare in early game that i just kept avoiding doing the bosses at all. now the game is finished and i never got to use all my items cause i was too scared. but that could definitely not be a universal experience and just be a me issue instead of the games fault. i do think that certain items are too rare and expensive tho cause i was constantly broke (Especially since you lose money everytime you die). those are the only complaints i have! the rest is amazing besides some small nitpicks.
(huge tangent incoming:) i dont really care abt the fact that these games are difficult but yes indeed . sekiro was very difficult. altho in general i died way more to the ER bosses, sekiro felt way more complex and really makes you feel like its your laking skill when you die? thats sounds like a bad thing but besides being a bit stressful its a good thing actually! all the bosses are challenging but fair and there are barely any ways to casually cheese them or use NPC/online summons so every victory feels deserved and great. when i killed a boss in ER after 9 times i would think "damn that was easy" but i killed owl after 4 attempts in sekiro and was like "OH GOD THAT GUY WAS SO DIFFICULT (happy)". wait wtf did i even want to say by this? i forgor... point is you die too many times in ER cause of bad RNG. and sekiro feels more rewarding because you are forced to gid gud (cringe im sorry). lol. sounds like im bashing the game with all these comparisons but uhhhh,, you know i love ER. i just love it for different reasons. and i think the main flaws in elden rings bosses are handled better in sekiro. tangent. this entire text is a huge tangent. is anyone even reading my autistic ramblings? Probably not.

me creating the most incoherent blog post/review/infodump on all of neocities:

my reaction to that information (i feel very emotionless again lately)

hmm i wanna do more reviews but most of the time i have nothing to say abt the stuff i watch. like i cant write a whole ass paragraph abt it and i dont even pay attention to the plot lmao. Anyway heres like a speed review:
cyberpunk edgerunners: was enjoyable but the characters werent written very well (esp lucy)
top gun maverick: movie was ass. and it wasnt even gay like people said like wtf you tricked me theres no dudes kissing only US military propaganda
super dark times: liked it at first but the ending was whack. they threw it in the last quarter
sandman: i wanted to like it as a campy series but the CGI was so horrendous im sorry. theres no redeeming the last few episodes.. (corinthian tho aheehee)
piggy: was alright. didnt rlly find it disturbing tho
wendell & wild: i liked it but it was very rushed in the end

i fucking love mob psycho the new opening goes hard

how does one not feel weird and grossed out by cute nice things and saying nice things like a normal person? anyways this song from the new bladee album goes hard (i have become what i swore to destroy)

literally 1 minute into the new season of rick and morty and they already mentioned the avengers and twitter. Someone assassinate justin roiland please so this madness has an end

sigh such a pretty game

our TV is broken and now everything looks like this lol

funny how people (me included) always complain about annoying redditor fromsoft fans when... theyre honestly still the most reasonable. at least they actually try to explain their opinions instead of just leaving brain dead comments under every fromsoft related post (dont even get me started on the tiktok ones omfg). wow maybe i really am starting to become one of them... listen i just hate it when people start arguments and then dont finish them! let me have a conversation damnit! i just want to talk abt ds with people...

ahhh we finally found an apartment after endless searching im rlly happy. ig i wont have to live in a cardboard box on the streets then. also ty for 300k views ..i didnt draw anything this time causeeee im running out of ideas and i cant keep up with all the new views anymore lol...happens too quickly. but yea thanks thats pretty crazy that so many people look at this goofy site

i love reading the guestbook entries theyre so nice. im happy so many people get inspired to do their own stuff (that means my propaganda is working huehuehuehehe).there should always be more cool stuff. i need content! also my room smells like doodoo ass rn and idk why. i have the creeping feeling there might be a moldy plate hiding somewhere.

neocities i will kill you if you dont start working again NEOW. im so close to finishing what i was working on come on mannnn

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP VOTING FOR MELVIN?? theyre probably just trolling cause i put the (why) after his name but gawddamn. he surpassed isaac that is insane you people are twisted.

man i will never understand people who are obsessed with celebrities. ik its probably much weirder to obsess over fictional characters like me lol but idk i just genuinely dont get it. like that is an actual person just a random dude why would you treat them like that just because theyre famous. i like some actors too but id never even think to make a stan acc or something... i like their acting and movies or just think they look kinda cool but i dont like the actual person i mean idk that guy! same thing with most influencers

ahhhh yes....

i kinda want to make a blog page again or like a diary or something but i always tend to overshare on those or get myself down by spiraling into shitty thoughts but hmmm. also lots oft people that know me irl look at my page. eughhh i just miss having somewhere where i can write about whatever

hehe all these depressing updates... i really gotta get my grind back on. been feeling very weird lately

being tormented by artblock rn...sigh. sorry for no cool updates im not very motivated to do anything. just gotta wait till i feel better ig

ok guys being sick actually rlly sucks i cant stop caughing every few seconds its so baddddd. can a funny wizard please brew me a concoction or something? some herbs?
*stares intently at rogier elden ring*

its so hot outside i could melt but i still somehow managed to catch a cold. truly impressive.
i feel so weak grahhhh im coughing and shit (cringe). also i wanna finish metal gear rising but senator armstrong is beating my ass so hard rn. i mean the fight is challenging sure and it would be totally chill if it wasnt for that one godforsaken blademode event with the cars. its so frustrating and idk if i can do it because i somehow mess it up within a nanosecond every time. also im super unlucky with the rng. eh whatever ill get him some day

the overlord opening and ending have no right to go so hard lol.
trashy animes always have the best music

i wonder if i count as a niche internet micro celebrity. sure hope not cuz that would make me 20% more insufferable

me and my boyfriend (i am actually insane)

finally finished my first playthrough of elden ring a few days ago lol... 130 hours. doing NG+ without summons now to get the ranni and normal ending so ill have all the achievements. going very well so far just did morgott everything is soooo much faster than first time.
im feeling kind of sad rn tho... having trouble functioning and communicating with my autistic realness or something. feel like im being a bad friend

really wish i could channel all this nervous and hyper energy im having into being productive....but alas

guys sorry for being a bit inactive.... im busy. busy being a gamer :/ i really havent done shit the last few days lol. my sleeping schedule is totally messed up as well and uh yeah

god why does the autoplay music sometimes work and sometimes not? so annoying. for the longest time i thought safari doesn’t support auto play music in general but now some of them work???for some reason?? well safari is bs anyway it always glitches my gifs and does weird shit i cant fix. but im having trouble on chrome too now. idk ig its not that important...just bothersome. maybe its because i use vocaroo

check out this delectable olive playlist. tried to make it a mix of songs that fit her vibe and songs she would listen to herself (the fandom songs lol. not enough nightcore tho i know)

honestly idk why i draw varre so much hes not even my favorite character or anything. he grew on me i didnt rlly get the hype at first but yeahhhhh i GUESS hes pretty okayyyy ig hes pretty goofy ig i kinda like him. the fanart convinced me. also hes like a evil doctor pathetic old man which are some of my favorite things ngl. prawn guy and rogier 4 life tho. (also i know his actual name but im gonna keep calling him prawn guy idc)

im craving the mcdonalds chicken wings so bad recently... god...i think theyll take them off the menu soon tho hhhrrrrr

actually kind of happy with how much my art improved in the last few months. i got a lot better at drawing faces and doing a more semi realistic style i think... (cause of elden ring lmao what else) kinda funny to compare my first fanart of it with the new ones. its not old at all (februrary/early march) but it looks like trash and i rlly like the new one. idk. its almost like practice pays off. who would have thought! also learning how to use clip studio... i like switching up my mediums and brushes once in a while it helps me not get stuck/bored. i dont want to jinx anything tho i can already smell the next artblock

should i make this like my new log thing? cause i stopped using the old one. ig i already do use this one like that...like to talk abt random stuff or my thoughts and opinions hmm. kind of miss oversharing on here lmao. no one reads this anyway. i had fun on my birthday btw i slept a lot and streamed elden ring to my friends on discord. tbh i would love being a streamer im good at commentary i think but like hell no that would never work out

^this fr^

^such a good gif^

thinking abt how much i hate the way internet people sexualize everything. i feel like its limiting me in the way i want to create characters etc... for example i feel kind of uneasy when i draw isaac in cute outfits cause so many people see it as some weird kink shit. if someone ever calls him a femboy im throwing hands. he literally just enjoys fashion... i hate how feminine guy characters are treated in general. well i think hes not even that feminine but ig compared to most he is and im just delusional lol.

^retweeted this weeks ago but i still think abt it so much. perfect image. i wish gay people were real^

i luv this songggg

found this clipnote for windows? Interesting

^man i gotta play this game fr. looks delightful........ im so lazy tho^

^i think abt this guy a lot. such a captivating video^